GUIDELINES FOR CIRCLES
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From: Virginia S.
Date: Tuesday, October 7, 2008, 5:15 PM
Subject: Guidelines for circles
ID: 265109

Hello all:

Here are some guidelines for respecting each other in circles: as we talked about during the call. Of course, some of these will not fit since this is from an abuse group. They were written by a therapist. When I was in the group we took turns reading aloud.

Virginia

1. 1 will respect and maintain the confidential nature of the group. Confidentiality is a must. I will not share information outside the group that could reveal the identity of WINGS group members.

2. 1 will respect each person's right to "pass" and not speak.

3. I will give you my full attention, listening as carefully as I can, while I temporarily set aside my own feelings and experiences so as to remain present while you speak.

4. I will listen without judging. I will be open to other people's experiences and perceptions without defending or attacking.

5. 1 will not interrupt when another person is speaking.

6. I will share time appropriately. I will ask for time when I need to talk, not expecting others to sense my needs. I will not demand more than my share of the group's time by talking continually or excessively.

7. 1 will speak in "I" statements.

8. I will be truthful and caring with you and with myself.

9. 1 will not touch or hug you without your permission.

10. 1 will take responsibility for my own feelings rather than blaming others for "making" me feel that way.

11. 1 will share my own feelings and experiences rather than attempting to explain someone else's feelings or experience.

12. I will express my feelings in words rather than by acting them out, for example by threatening to harm others or myself.

13. I will give you space to work through your own issues and arrive at your own solutions without giving you unsolicited advice or rescuing you. I will trust you to do the same for me.

14. I recognize that WINGS group members come from a variety of backgrounds and belief systems. I agree to be respectful of those whose experiences and opinions are different from my own.

15. I will stick to the topic during the group discussion or suggest a change of topic if the original topic doesn't seem to be working.

16.1 will share my ideas and/or concerns about the group during regular meeting time rather than with individuals outside of the group.

17. I will maintain respectful boundaries when interacting with group members outside of group. I understand it is fine to reach out to others for friendship and support, but I should not expect other group members to play the role of therapist. Nor should I play that role.

18. I understand that WINGS group meetings are not to happen without a WINGS facilitator present.

19. I will share responsibility for making the group work both by following these guidelines and by taking my turn as a Current Contact Person (CCP).

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